my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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