just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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