i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
