he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
