How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
