Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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