just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I am available for nakedness
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize
