I like my sex mixed with concussions.
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
you will always have a special place in my vag
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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