Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
