Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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