Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
