last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
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