Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
