She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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