Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Randomize
