he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
