As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
