your room smells of hookers.
And success
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
How many fucks given?
0.12846
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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