The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
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