would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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