One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
