I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
we're making bets on your personal life
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
