Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
