If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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