we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
