Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
