chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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