mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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