4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Randomize