Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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