somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
