Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
