...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Randomize
