The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
I FOUND THE LEGS
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
