There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
He called his prostate his "boner button".
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
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