I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize