The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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