It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
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