I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
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