in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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