Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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