I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
