I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
