Please, let me fuck your mom
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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