Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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