I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
