Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
