I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
It's so hard to take my boss as an authorative figure with her New Moon movie tickets taped to her wall
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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