our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
