Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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