So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
MY DAD AND I ARE ON OUR WAY OUT OF FLORENCE AND I JUST SAW A MAN AT A BUS STOP WITH A GIMP HAND SLAP HIS DAUGHTER ACROSS THE FACE WITH IT.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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